Winter Howl Release Party

Tags

erotica, novel, reading, real life, release party, shapeshifter, werewolf, writers, writing

Last Sunday, I truly had a blast at a local bar with a bunch of my writer friends. I had originally planned to go to a local Italian restaurant that makes good martinis, but they closed maybe a week or two before I planned for the party! The important part was making sure it was an adult venue, given the subject matter I intended to talk about and read from, but the problem was finding one that was quiet. Most bars tend to be loud, especially on a Saturday night.

Well, this local bar has a beautiful interior, very European classy, and it’s just a bar rather than a bar and grill. I asked the management what would be a good day to do a quiet party, and Sunday was one of the days. Our group sometimes meets there for writing Sunday afternoons, and this would be a natural extension of that. So I moved the party to Sunday and told everyone that we could bring food in. I bought gourmet cupcakes (because what party doesn’t call for gourmet cupcakes?) and gifts/prizes and got all ready.

The purpose of this party was not only to celebrate my debut novel (subsequent erotic novel release parties will probably be a lot lower key), but to practice the art of being an author in the public eye. Now, due to the nature of writing under a pseudonym, I probably won’t have occasion to do that much, but I write mainstream as well, and maybe it’ll help prepare me for that. But as I initially said, I believe that life can be short and bleak, and it isn’t such a bad thing to celebrate what you can.

Cue afternoon before the party, I receive a rejection notice from Total-E-Bound for Wolf Girl. This wasn’t unexpected – and the rejection was one of those awesome rejections where they tell you that you’ve done everything right, but the story just doesn’t fit with them – however, it still took a lot of wind out of my sails. I’m still stressing now over how the hell I’m going to self-publish this sucker without a nickel to spend on it at the moment, but I keep telling myself I have time to figure it out. It doesn’t have to be published now, no matter how set I was on having it release this summer.

So I was a little down, but I went across the street to buy some tempura for the party, then return and order a pineapple upside-down cake cocktail in hopes that it will loosen my tongue for the reading. In the past, I’ve read excerpts that are maybe PG13, but I committed to reading something more sensual this time, given the nature of the party.

One of my friends brought roses, which I love and gave me a warm feeling inside. It was such a pleasure to be able to celebrate with friends, which I wouldn’t have been able to do about a year and a half ago. We all sit down to appetizers that some of the others brought and chocolate-covered popcorn and do an informal question-and-answer, which is fun to do with other writers. Two people came by who were new to our group, and they had some beginning writer questions that make me excited. The beginning is the scariest part, but it’s also like the beginning of a journey, and you always remember your start and how cool it was when words met paper for the first time. Even if it was crap.

Then I did my reading from the naked-in-the-snow scene, and I underestimated how uncomfortable I would feel reading sex out loud, especially in front of men. It’s one thing to share sex fantasies with other women, but there were three men there, and that just felt too exposed. I blushed so red during it, but a you-got-mail sound from the manager’s computer eased the tension a little, and I soldiered through. I wasn’t nearly tipsy enough for it though. I obvious hadn’t had enough alcohol to reach “loosen my tongue” phase. I was trying for the sweet uninhibited spot between slightly buzzed and drunk, since I hate getting drunk. But alas, it was not to be. Even so, I managed to get through it all right.

I haven’t quite figured out how to do a good reading of erotica without feeling embarrassed. I can write about sex fine, but I rarely talk about it, and when I do, it’s usually very straightforward and almost clinical. I don’t know how to tap into my inner sex kitten or if I even have one, and how do you do a man’s growl without laughing at yourself? I just don’t know how it’s supposed to be done.

And so the night ended. I thanked everyone and gave out the gifts and hugged everyone I could, then went home and crashed. Fortunately, as a lifelong introvert, I’ve gotten to the point where I know the crash is going to happen, so I can prepare for it.

I don’t have pictures because I don’t really do that. I know. My generation is all about constant record-keeping, but I never felt the draw to document my life in photos, especially of me. Like most people, I can’t stand pictures of myself. It’s less a low self-esteem thing and more like the way people can’t stand to hear themselves in a recording. It just doesn’t fit what you expect. I don’t see in pictures what I see in a mirror, so it’s just jarring. Maybe I could have taken pictures of the cupcakes, but the light level was low. Next time, I guess. :)

However, my memory is clear enough, and you already remember your first. Here’s to my first release party, and here’s to Winter Howl.

Hard Copy

Tags

ebook, reading, technology, writing

I’m not a Luddite, but I am a bit behind on the technological advances made within the last five years. Particularly in the realm of tablets, e-readers and smartphones. This is in part due to the fact that I cannot afford them myself. It is also because I have a perfectly serviceable laptop (that is not a Mac) and I quite dislike phones. I know I’m not alone in the latter category. I won’t go as far as to say I hate phones, but there’s something about them that doesn’t click with me. Maybe it’s because of how much I depend on looking at people’s mouths to understand what the fuck they’re saying and looking at their body language to determine the emotional temperature behind those words. Phones, be it through their microphones or through texting, take away those oh so essential crutches in my social interaction. Introvert I may be, I’d prefer to communicate through computer chat or face to face – no in-between.

Also, although I worry that technology is going to pass me by, I worry also that any tech purchase I make will be full of flaws and will be obsolete in just a few years, so why spend hundreds of dollars I can’t really afford? But that could be the case for just about every piece of new tech these days, so will I just go on waiting for the perfect computer forever?

I don’t know. But I’ve written about these issues I have with technology to address e-books.

I’m not an e-book hater. A majority of the erotica I read, I read online, so I’d probably be more likely to indulge in more romance and erotica in any e-reader I purchased (and I’m considering it). However, as a writer rather than a reader, I hesitate whenever I see a submission call or a publisher’s page that state they only offer e-publishing. If you haven’t read Seanan McGuire’s essay Across the Digital Divide addressing the problem of the e-book age with respect to poverty, I recommend it, because she covers those issues better than I could, given our respective histories. My own response to e-books is more personal and perhaps more selfish, but I suspect other writers and readers will share my issues.

As a reader, I dislike depending on e-readers because I have what I liked to call Technology-Induced Attention Deficit Disorder. The second I look on a screen, my attention span drops somewhere between a sugar-full toddler and a puppy. I’m a multitasker if I have a screen in front of me, be it a computer screen, a phone screen, or a TV screen, and it’s not multitasking in the good way. I can discipline myself, but it’s hard. I write better on my keyboard than longhand, and if need be, I can unfocus my eyes, which helps me concentrate more. But I’m still prone – like many writers – to surf the net every few minutes or so, whether the writing is flowing or not, but especially if it’s not. When I’m reading on my computer, I experience the same distractions. When I’m reading a book, I’m usually not sitting in front of my computer – I’m on the couch or outside in a lawn chair or I’m in a restaurant, and I’m more focused on the book because there’s nothing pixelated to distract me.

(And as an aside, I would much rather carry a book that costs a few dollars in my purse than a e-reader that costs about a hundred dollars, just for my own sense of security.)

Then, as a writer, I have my very selfish reason for wanting to chose a publisher or an anthology that offers a hard copy. It’s the same reason I like getting jewelry supplies in the mail. There’s something much more satisfying about getting a package in the mail with author’s copies of whatever book I’m in. I can hold it in my hand and feel its texture and weight and size, which is subtly different than any other book I have. It distinguishes itself in my experience. And then I put it on my bookshelf to join and add to the other books in which I’ve been published. And I can look at that shelf and have a physical representation of my accomplishments. Whereas getting two copies of an e-book is about as exciting to me as a new installation of Adobe Reader – it gets lost among the other documents in my computer. I have a high from getting published and read, but not the high of really seeing my work, of having a sense of it in real life versus virtual reality.

So, I wouldn’t want to deny avid e-book readers their e-books if e-readers are their preferred method of reading, and I won’t dismiss an anthology just because it will only come out as an e-book. I just prefer to seek out publishers who, if they can, offer both hard and digital copies. It helps me as both a writer and a reader, and I appreciate it.